Saturday mornings were dangerous in the Narayanan house.
Because Saturday meant:
monthly supermarket shopping.
And monthly supermarket shopping meant Ravi transforming into a discount-hunting warrior.
He entered the supermarket holding a shopping list like a military commander entering battle.
“Today,” he announced proudly,
“we will buy only necessary things.”
Ten minutes later the trolley contained:
- two giant pickle jars,
- a dancing cactus toy,
- twelve packets of chips,
- and a neck massager nobody asked for.
“Necessary?” asked Meera slowly.
“It was 40% off.”
“That doesn’t make it necessary.”
“That’s exactly what discounts mean.”
Karthik disappeared toward the snacks section like a migrating bird returning home.
Meanwhile little Anu found the announcement microphone near customer service.
Before anyone noticed, the entire supermarket heard:
“Attention everybody… Bruno has done potty near biscuits.”
Complete silence.
One employee dropped a carton.
Another employee began running toward the biscuit aisle with spiritual urgency.
Ravi closed his eyes in disappointment.
“That child will either become a leader or get us arrested.”
Grandmother Lakshmi meanwhile had reached the free sample counter.
This was her Olympics.
She wore the expression of a woman determined to recover all money ever spent in life.
“One more sample?” she asked innocently for the sixth time.
The confused employee asked,
“Amma… didn’t you already taste this?”
Lakshmi changed shawls dramatically.
“No, that was my twin sister.”
Near the fruits section, grandfather stood suspiciously examining watermelons.
He knocked on them one by one like checking apartment doors.
THUK.
THUK.
THUK.
A nearby child asked,
“Thatha, how do you know which watermelon is good?”
Grandfather replied confidently:
“The watermelon speaks to experienced people.”
Ravi nodded seriously as if this was science.
Suddenly chaos erupted near aisle seven.
Bruno — who was never supposed to come — had somehow climbed out of the car window and entered the supermarket.
Nobody understood how.
He sprinted happily through the automatic doors like a celebrity entering an award show.
Children cheered.
One cashier screamed.
Bruno reached Karthik first and grabbed an entire garlic bread packet from his hand.
Then he ran straight toward the vegetables.
Tomatoes rolled.
Beans flew.
One cabbage hit Ravi’s face with surprising accuracy.
Meera stood frozen holding coriander leaves like life had personally betrayed her.
The manager finally arrived.
“WHOSE DOG IS THIS?”
The entire family pointed at each other immediately.
Traitors.
Meanwhile Bruno proudly sat near the billing counter chewing garlic bread peacefully.
The manager walked closer angrily…
…and Bruno offered him half the bread.
The manager melted instantly.
“Good dog,” he whispered emotionally.
Ravi saw opportunity.
“Sir… maybe small discount?”
“NO DISCOUNT.”
“Okay fair.”
After two hours, three arguments, one missing shopping bag, and accidental purchase of twenty-four soaps…
the family returned home exhausted.
Meera unpacked everything silently.
Then suddenly she stopped.
“Where is the rice bag?”
Everyone froze.
Nobody had brought the rice bag.
The one item they originally went to buy.
Grandfather slowly sipped water and said:
“Excellent shopping trip.”