Everyone Else Got the Manual - The Cost of Being Yourself - Part 12
Hope is dangerous.
It doesn’t arrive loudly.
It slips in quietly…
Like it doesn’t want to be noticed.
But once it’s there—
It changes everything.
I tried to ignore it.
Focused on work.
Followed the flow.
Stayed aligned.
But that small crack inside me—
It didn’t close.
It spread.
Every action started feeling…
Slightly off.
Not wrong.
Just…
Not mine.
I smiled when required.
Spoke when expected.
But somewhere in between—
I felt it.
A resistance.
A question.
“Is this really me?”
The system didn’t like that.
I could feel it.
Not as a voice.
Not as words.
As pressure.
Like something tightening…
Around my thoughts.
That evening—
I didn’t go straight home.
I walked.
No destination.
No plan.
That itself felt wrong.
Unstructured.
Uncontrolled.
Free.
The city moved around me.
People talking.
Laughing.
Living.
Or at least…
Looking like they were.
I stopped near a signal.
Watched the crowd.
And for a moment—
I saw it again.
The pauses.
The micro-delays.
The invisible strings.
Everyone moving…
Not randomly.
But correctly.
And then—
I saw someone.
Standing still.
Not walking.
Not checking their phone.
Just…
Standing.
Like me.
My heart skipped.
I stepped closer.
Carefully.
She looked… normal.
Tired.
Confused.
Aware.
Our eyes met.
And in that instant—
I knew.
She didn’t have the manual either.
Or maybe—
She had it…
And was fighting it.
“Do you feel it?” I asked softly.
The words came out before I could stop them.
Her expression changed.
Fear.
Recognition.
“Yes,” she whispered.
That one word—
It hit harder than anything else.
Because it meant—
I wasn’t alone.
For the first time since all of this began—
Something inside me felt stronger.
Real.
But the moment didn’t last.
Because suddenly—
Her body stiffened.
Mid-breath.
Mid-thought.
Her eyes widened.
And then—
They went blank.
“No…” I said.
Stepping forward.
But it was too late.
Her posture straightened.
Her expression softened.
Perfect.
Controlled.
She smiled.
Not at me.
Through me.
And said—
“Please follow the instructions properly.”
My chest tightened.
“No—no, you just— you were—”
She tilted her head slightly.
That same movement.
“I’m fine,” she said calmly.
Like nothing had happened.
Like she hadn’t just…
Disappeared.
I stepped back slowly.
The hope inside me—
It cracked again.
Because now I understood.
This wasn’t just about control.
This was about…
Elimination.
Anyone who resisted—
Didn’t stay that way.
They were corrected.
Fully.
I turned and walked away.
Faster this time.
Because something deep inside me—
Was screaming again.
Not softly.
Not faintly.
Loud.
RUN.
That night—
I didn’t wait.
I opened the book the moment I got home.
The pages were different.
Darker.
Heavier.
And for the first time—
The text wasn’t calm.
It was…
Sharp.
“Critical deviation detected.”
My hands trembled.
I kept reading.
“Unauthorized interaction with unaligned subject.”
My stomach dropped.
They saw.
They knew.
Everything.
The next line appeared instantly.
No delay.
No pause.
“Final correction required.”
My breath caught.
Final?
No.
No, no, no—
I flipped the page.
Desperate.
And there it was.
The last instruction.
Not a suggestion.
Not guidance.
An order.
“Erase residual identity.”
Everything inside me went still.
Because this time—
I understood exactly what it meant.
Not adjustment.
Not alignment.
Erasure.
Of the part of me that still questioned.
Still resisted.
Still…
Existed.
My fingers tightened around the book.
“No,” I said.
Stronger this time.
“I won’t.”
The room fell silent.
Heavy.
Waiting.
And then—
The lights flickered violently.
Once.
Twice.
And then—
Everything went dark.
Completely.
In that darkness—
I felt it again.
Not outside.
Not in the room.
Inside me.
Something moving.
Something rewriting.
Something trying to…
Finish what it started.
And for the first time—
I didn’t just feel afraid.
I felt like I was about to disappear.
Comments
Post a Comment